So This is a Sister

I have a very tender place in my heart for sisters.  There is seriously no relationship quite like a sister.  Sisters have a way of bonding throughout their lives, and they play different roles in each other's lives.  With Kimber, I always felt very protective and concerned for her well being.  I have very specific memories growing up of watching her hurt, physically and/or emotionally, and wanting to take all of the pain away.  I wanted to beat up any boys who hurt her in any way or broke her heart (although she was almost always the heart breaker in every relationship), and I wanted to be there for her through everything.  

Kimber was the fun one.  She helped me feel needed, and she helped me lighten up and laugh.  All.The.Time.  We would be so goofy together and I always admired her spunk and wit, her silliness, and her ability to make anyone laugh to the point of tears.  I always got a major ab workout when I was with Kimmy from laughing.  I remember when we shared a bed growing up and would talk all night about anything and everything.  We had a big headboard and would tie our sheets to the top of the headboard to make a "princess bed."  Around the time when Elizabeth Smart went missing, we would go to sleep holding hands so that if a kidnapper came in to take one of us, the other would wake up and fight him off and yell for help. :) We made up secret handshakes that we would do every night before we went to sleep.  Every Christmas Eve we made it a tradition to still have a sleepover in my room and stay up talking.  We slept in my room the night before I got married and Kimber stayed up with me all night talking about the excitement of the next day.  She always seemed to feel what I felt, as I felt what she felt.

Although we grew a little distant the last few years of her life, I always maintained the protective, loving, and understanding attitude I have always had towards her as my little sister, and she still made me feel important, she still made me feel needed, and she still made me laugh whenever we talked.    

I have always been so excited about watching her grow up and keep learning, making more memories as my sister and "Auntie Kim."  My heart is broken that she won't get to experience everything with me and my family in person, but I often feel her presence and feel her comforting me.  Sometimes I imagine her giving me a hug and telling me it's all going to be OK.  I guess we have switched roles a bit in a way.  I feel that she will help protect me throughout my struggles in life, and I hope she always feels needed and wanted in our family so that she can often be here in spirit.  I will never be as funny and witty as her though...that is a role meant solely for Kimmy. :) 

I will look forward to the day that we will laugh together again.  I look forward to the day that she can tell me, in her happy, high-spirited way, all about her adventures in Heaven and point out to me when she was really here in spirit, with me and my family on earth.  This poem is inspired by the sister relationship I have with her and will forever have.  I wear a bracelet often from Trevor's sweet aunt Deb that says "sisters are forever friends" as a reminder that our sister relationship is forever.  My role as her protective older sister and her role as the fun, silly, loving sister are forever.  If you are reading this and have a sister or sisters of your own, take the time to talk with them, do something fun with them, and enjoy their presence, for sisters are truly a precious and unique gift! 

So This is a Sister

(By Kristen Hunter Laursen)

I sat on Mommy's lap, kissed her belly and felt a kick

Mommy said that her tummy was where baby sister lived

"A sister?  What's a sister?" I asked as I tilted my three-year-old head.

"A sister will laugh and play with you and be your very best friend."

Then the day came when she arrived

Her soft skin and dark, thick hair

"So this is a sister" I thought to myself

As I held her on mom's rocking chair

The days flew by and sister could crawl

Then walk, then run with me

She followed me places, I followed her too

Together we both liked to be

Some days we fought, and some days we cried

And some days were really rough

"So this is a sister," I'd think with a sigh

"I don't like to share all my stuff.”

But as we grew older, we grew more mature

We laughed through many late nights

We were silly together, we trusted each other

We made up dances and had pillow fights

Though the days of secret handshakes and princess beds

And imaginary friends were gone

Our bond grew stronger, our love grew deeper 

As time went on and on

"So this is a sister" I thought as I opened my heart to you

You listened and cared

You lifted me up

You opened your heart to me too

I learned of your heartaches, your hardships and heartbreaks

I learned of the demons you faced

As your older sister, I tried to protect you,

I wanted to take all the pain away

As you went off to college and broadened your mind

You learned many a wonderful truth

You did things your own way, you learned from mistakes

You truly loved, shared talents, and grew

But through all the learning, life was still hard

You suffered a difficult fall

"So this is a sister" I thought as my heart broke

I wished I'd kept you standing tall

But I learned of the news that you'd gone from this earth

My heart broke to pieces and bruised 

I didn't know how to live life without my sweet sister

How could I be happy without you

Through my life I felt the void you'd left 

By leaving your family behind

I often cried and thought of your life

You never really left my mind

I grew old and with joy shining in my eyes

Watched my family as they grew

I gave my children sisters

And told them all about you

Then the day came that I left this earth 

I entered the heavens above

And there you were, with arms outstretched

And a smile that spoke of your love

"So this is a sister!" I proclaimed with a voice

That echoed throughout the skies

Our bond is forever, I knew you were here

As my guardian angel in life

We laughed and talked as we did before

Nothing had really changed

You told me about your fun times in heaven

And with you, little sister, I stayed.