In the Waiting Room

10/21/15

Hello!  My name is Kristen Laursen.  I have been married for just over 4 years to my handsome husband, Trevor Laursen, who is currently in his third year of pharmacy school at the University of Utah.  We have an adorable little girl named Avery Mae who just turned 9 months.  I decided to start a blog because I have found comfort sharing thoughts, feelings, and poetry with others, and felt the need to better document my life at this time.  I come from a family of 4 kids-my older brother, Ryan (27), me (25), younger sister, Kimber (22) and little brother Brennan (18).  Just a few weeks ago, my family has suffered the loss of my little sister Kimber.  It has been the worst thing in the world but we have had some amazing experiences that have given us hope and peace through this terrible time.  It has been helpful and healing to me to be able to share some of these experiences with others as I hope that they can find comfort and peace through these experiences as well.

This morning I had an experience that led me to creating this blog so that I could share it with others.  Kimber was an amazing individual and had such a way with connecting with others.  She listened to others so well, looking into their eyes and trying to understand them, seeing the good in others and bringing that out with her hilarious sense of humor and genuine kindness.

Today, I took Avery to her 9 month check up and they wanted to check her hemoglobin after her appointment.  As I walked into the lab waiting room, the room was full but I found a seat by an elderly lady who moved her purse off the chair so I could sit down.  Shortly after, a teenage girl wearing Aztec-printed leggings, a dark T-Shirt, and mismatched bright colored socks came over and I realized I was sitting in her seat and that I was sitting next to her grandmother.  I told her I could move but she said she was fine and sat next to me on the other side.  She had short died black and red hair and dark, thick eyeliner around her eyes.  She had dark, penciled in eyebrows and black chipped nail polish.  She started listening to her I pod to a song which album cover had skulls on it.  Her grandma asked about my little girl and she said, glancing at her granddaughter, "Enjoy her while she's little and so perfect.  Then they turn into wild teenagers and you don't know who they are anymore."  That comment made me feel a little sad and I began wondering about this teenage girl.  Her mismatched socks made me smile as I thought of the bright colored mismatched socks we buried my little sister in because she always wore them that way.  I started up a conversation with her and she took out her headphones and I came to know what a sweetheart she was.  She smiled at Avery and asked all about her and I found out that she was 15 years old, has a 7 year old little sister, and loves to play the guitar.  Our conversation really touched me, and inspired me to write the following poem:

         In the Waiting Room

As we sit together, side by side
We're living very different lives
I glance at you with the black around your eyes
Chipped black nails, your hair black-and-red died

I look down at your feet and they make me smile
Bright mismatched socks, pink and blue
I think of the socks on my sister's cold feet
And all the great things she would see in you

You smile at my baby, ask me her name
You flash braces with a smile
I smile back, say it's Avery Mae
And we keep talking for a while

I look into your eyes, so deep and dark brown
They are beautiful and so bright
Although covered in black and underneath drawn-in brows
I see a 15 yr old girl with so much light

You speak to me with a sweet, gentle voice
And we laugh at my silly little girl
I think of another pair of brown eyes
That I miss more than anything in the world

Those eyes belong to a special girl
Who had a difficult life to live
Yet she saw others as who they could become
And gave all the kindness she could give

I made a vow right then and there
To see others from a different view
Don't judge on the outside, look into their eyes
Which shine with beauty true

As we said goodbye, I smiled and waved
My heart touched by this sweet teenage girl
I hope she can see the spark in herself
That brightened my little world

Though we all have struggles and difficult times
In this crazy roller coaster ride called life
We're meant to lean on each other, uplift one another
Show kindness and love with all our might

Some days drag on slowly and sadly still
As I picture my life void of my sister
But I want to reach out as she always would
Until, once again, I am with her.

Through losing my sister I have realized what a gift life is and how precious time is.  Small, but meaningful experiences can happen every day if we let them, even in the waiting room.  I am so grateful for everything that Kimmy taught me in her short life and miss her so incredibly much.  I hope I can become more genuine and understanding of other people like she was!