Although Christmas was a little bit better than expected thanks to a happy and oblivious little girl, we still all felt Kimmy's absence really strong. It was the first Christmas that I have ever spent apart from her. Who knew that 21 Christmases were all I would get to be with her. 21 Christmases with my little sister, and the rest of my life of Christmases feeling her absence, feeling the void she left behind. We all cried some tears, shared some memories, and talked about her. As difficult as it is, I think talking about her and sharing the memories definitely helps. I also think keeping the traditions my family has alive helps as well. It's nice to make new traditions, but I love the old traditions, and although they feel different and their light is dimmed because Kimber won't be here to be a part of them like she always has, I want to keep as many traditions as we can alive.
A new tradition that I decided to do with Kimmy was give her a pair of earrings every Christmas. We got our ears pierced together while celebrating my Grandma Hunter's last birthday at the end of December, 2013. I bought several pairs of earrings for her last Christmas and she loved them. She had SO many earrings and they became her favorite accessory. I never knew that tradition would be cut so short. When she passed away, I inherited most of her earrings and we gave some of her earrings to our little cousins. I love wearing them and am so grateful for the fun memory we shared, at the ages of 20 and 23, to finally get our ears pierced together. It's a memory I will always cherish and I'm grateful I have pictures and video of it!
As Christmas time drew nearer this last year I thought of that tradition I wanted to start with my sister. I decided I wanted to keep it alive by giving my mom a pair of earrings each Christmas in Kimmy's honor. I thought it would be a good way of keeping that tradition alive and remembering Kimber each Christmas. I bought my mom a few pair of earrings and an earring tray that said "Enjoy the Little Things". I wrote the following poem for her:
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Earrings for Christmas
(By Kristen Hunter Laursen)
Sisters laughing, playing; discovering Grandma's clip-on earrings
We try them on, posing in the mirror with a special, grown-up feeling
We want to be like Grandma, we want to be like Mommy too
These valiant, strong and kind women; examples good and true
Time goes on, but the holidays always bring us back together
We stay up late each Christmas Eve, talking of all the memories we remember
Dancing to the Christmas Bass, picking out the longest socks we could find
Singing Christmas songs together, keeping all of our traditions alive
Just two short years ago, celebrating Grandma Hunter's last birthday
We sisters decided to finally pierce our ears; feeling giddy like little girls again that day
We excitedly picked out lots of earrings, overwhelmed by the many shelves in which they hung
Gold, silver, loops and posts; Posing in the mirror like we did when we were young
That year my sister bought a lot more earrings; it became a near obsession
Nearly a pair for every outfit she wore-she began to get quite the collection
So that next year I vowed from then on out I'd give her earrings each Christmas day
I bought her two pairs that I knew she would love and she opened that gift with a smile on her face
But what I didn't realize, and could have never foretold, was that the first year of this tradition with her would be our last
That every Christmas after that one would be forever different from Christmases past.
For my always laughing, loving sister left this earth the very next fall
And since then her presence was forever missed-a void felt within us all
We all said our goodbyes, standing in front of her casket of ebony-white
Grief and loss filled the air as we placed earrings on her left ear and then the right
Bright yellow flowers to signify the sunshine she brought to all others
That her buds brought back from his mission, with matching pairs for me and Mother.
Dad handed me those pearls she was wearing on the last day of her life
And I realized they were her very first pair of earrings that we got together that December night.
A flood of memories filled my mind; my heart broke that she was really gone
My sister whom I've loved and held dear to my heart my whole life long.
So now we're left with Christmases ahead, without our sister and daughter
And we have to find a way to live life as full as possible without her
And although there are times when we feel of her loss and feel empty in every way
I know she'd want us to carry on traditions and find joy each Christmas day
So to continue this new tradition-to keep the vow I made last year
I want to buy you, Mother, earrings in memory of our Kimmy dear
Please wear these earrings and think of her and all the good times that we've had before
Knowing she's still here in spirit, and we'll truly be with her once more.
Every Christmas will bring a new pair of earrings with a new year of memories to make
And we will cherish the memories of the years we were all together; our Kimber we'll never forsake
We'll "enjoy the little things," strengthen love for others, lifting each other up along the way
Finding peace in the knowledge that we will all be forever together one day.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know that families ARE forever and that I will see my sister again some day! I am so grateful for all the memories and fun times we had that I will always cherish. I love wearing Kimber's earrings and think of her almost every time I put a pair of earrings on. I love that fun, spunky, beautiful angel in Heaven!
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| The day we got our ears pierced together |
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| Wearing a pair of Kimber's earrings and one of her shirts |
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